Look, we're not gonna pretend you're actually sleeping in a 12th-century fortress - that'd be cold and kinda miserable. But we've taken the best parts of medieval castle life (the grandeur, the craftsmanship, the 'I own this place' feeling) and mixed it with everything you'd expect from a 5-star stay. Think four-poster beds that you can actually sleep in, bathrooms with heated floors, and yes - WiFi that works.